


Be my pumpkin, maybe (You're my blood type, baby)

by SquaresAreNotCircles



Series: Marriage proposals and how not to give them, probably [3]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Established Relationship, Fluff, Halloween (sort of), Humor, M/M, Marriage Proposal, the unexpected third character in this is a mouse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 17:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20213485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquaresAreNotCircles/pseuds/SquaresAreNotCircles
Summary: “So Halloween’s coming up,” Steve says, all casual, like it’s not the only thing they’ve been hearing about from Charlie for two weeks straight.Or: A day that will haunt Danny for years to come (and possibly the entire rest of his life, in sickness and in health).





	Be my pumpkin, maybe (You're my blood type, baby)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peeeriod](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peeeriod/gifts).

> So the lovely [andtheywerepartners](https://andtheywerepartners.tumblr.com/) over on Tumblr (on a previous blog) posted a snippet of a conversation between Steve and Danny as an incorrect quote, and by the time I came across it there was consensus that someone should write it, so I did! I hope that’s okay – I have a huge, huge weak spot for Steve proposing but going about it an utterly ridiculous and Steve-ish way, so this was very much something I couldn’t say no to. 🌈💍
> 
> This was written very quickly in the middle of the night, but I hope it doesn’t show too obviously. [The post that started it all is here, for your viewing pleasure](https://five-wow.tumblr.com/post/186949133923/heavenismcdanno-love2hulksmash) (and it will contain spoilers for this fic, obviously, though I think the tags and my own rambling may have taken care of most of that, anyway).
> 
> The title is not from anything specific. It's just a combination of Halloween themed puns, but it rhymed and I think it sounds good and that it's funny, but all or most of those things could be due to sleep deprivation, to be fair.

“So Halloween’s coming up,” Steve says, all casual, like it’s not the only thing they’ve been hearing about from Charlie for two weeks straight. Steve plops his ass down on the edge of Danny’s desk and Danny gives him a dirty look and moves his wireless computer mouse. Even mice don’t deserve workplace sexual harassment.

“Is it?” he asks. “I never would’ve guessed. I thought those pumpkins and spiders everywhere were just this year’s Valentine’s fad.”

Steve grins and leans over the desk ─ and into Danny’s space ─ to poke Danny’s mouse, seemingly for no good reason except that Danny tried to put it out of his reach. “Well, you thought wrong, pumpkin.”

Danny pulls a face that probably wouldn’t look out of place on an actual carved pumpkin.

“So anyway, I’ve been thinking.” Steve inserts a deliberate pause here, waiting.

Danny volleys back the expected wisecrack. “I’m already holding my heart.”

There’s a brief flash of a truly goofy ear to ear Steve McGarrett beam (patent pending), before Steve wrangles his face muscles back under control. It’s a more intense response than Danny expected to his pretty mediocre joke, but Steve seems to be carrying some kind of hidden hilarity around anyway. It’s getting Danny curious, in spite of how he’d like to stay perfectly aloof and keep the upper hand.

“So?” he asks, when Steve doesn’t continue any of his obvious buildup. It’s too late for any play at aloofness now - Danny has been drawn into this, whatever it is, so Steve better deliver.

Steve pretends, badly, like this is all spontaneous and offhand. “Oh, I just think this year we should wear matching Halloween costumes.”

“That’s cute,” Danny says, the way you’d tell someone taking their pet rock for a walk that they’re definitely a very normal, totally sane person. “Did you have anything specific in mind?”

Steve crosses his arms, looking a little like he’s trying to hold himself still so he won’t start bouncing in anticipation. It’s a sure sign the punchline is coming. “Yeah. A newly engaged couple.”

Danny patiently waits for the rest of it. He’s still waiting when Steve gives him a look ─ part meaningful, part laughter, part nerves and part lovesick idiot, though that last one is a pretty consistent factor any time Steve looks at Danny ─ and bounds off the desk, making his way to the door of Danny’s office with no further elaboration of what was so funny all this time.

Danny watches him walk away, glad he mostly saved his computer mouse from this man, when his brain freezes in its tracks. He feels like he has a revelation in slow motion, like he’s watching an avalanche happen from afar, and suddenly he’s buried.

“Wait,” he says, weakly, but Steve doesn’t. Even from behind, Danny can see from just the shape of Steve’s cheek that he’s grinning like a madman when he pushes through Danny’s office door.

Appropriate, maybe, but infuriating, definitely.

“_Hey_!” Danny roars. “I said _wait_, you asshole!” He flies up out of his chair and almost tries to vault the desk for expediency, before his last shred of common sense wins out and he goes around it instead, even if he does it so fast and carelessly that he runs into both corners that he passes.

He emerges into the central room clutching his thigh, having flung the glass door open so hard it’s an unintentional test of how much force it would take to shatter it against the door stopper. Seeing as there’s no spray of glass at his back ─ now _that_ would be dramatic ─ Danny assumes the limit is higher than what he just gave it.

Which is good, because it means he can concentrate all of his energy on what’s in front of him. Steve is standing with his back to the tech table, still grinning, and Kono, Chin and Lou are all gathered around the table, looking like they were doing their actual jobs and are now various measures of amused, aggravated and taken aback at the explosive interruption.

“Steven Jerk McGarrett,” Danny begins, advancing on Steve slowly. He tries to hold up a threatening finger, but when he raises his hand he realizes he took the damn mouse with him, so he jabs that into the air instead.

“That’s not my middle name,” Steve murmurs.

Danny knows that’s not his middle name, but it should be, so he ignores this. “Hey! You listen to me. I don’t know if that pretty house we live in was ever used as a barn, but I’m beginning to suspect it might’ve been, because a person who wasn’t raised by farm animals should know that you don’t _propose_-” He’s reached Steve, so he pokes the mouse at Steve’s sternum. “-to your _partner_-” Poke. “-who you say you _love_ and _respect_-” Poke. “-via _Halloween_-” Poke. “-_costume_-” Poke. “-innu-_friggin’_-endo!” Poke.

This last time, he goes to withdraw his hand ─ maybe to throw that poor, innocent mouse across the room, he’s not sure yet ─ when Steve grabs hold of it. “Ow,” Steve says, drily, and then, with exactly no pause, he’s holding up a sleek silver ring with his free hand, caught between thumb and forefinger.

Danny almost screams. He’s never been jumpscared quite like this.

“So are you still holding your heart, or can I have it?” Steve asks, and for the first time since he started this clearly meticulously, ridiculously planned-out charade, there’s a waver to his voice.

“What,” Danny says, when he’s determined that staring a hole in the ring would be useless and counterproductive, because there’s already one, right where his finger could go, “is this a trade-off? Are we exchanging goods and services? Your ring for my heart, and if I want to drive a hard bargain, can I ask for your dog, too?”

Steve wraps their joined hands around the computer mouse a little tighter. He’s looking at Danny like he’s not sure if he wants to bite him or lick him, but it’s probably both. “Danny,” he says, his tone weighty, “will you do me, Steven Jerk McGarrett, the honor of marrying me?”

“_Yes_,” Danny says, because hey, duh. “Now, was that really so h-” He doesn’t get further than that, because Steve takes his not-ring-bearing hand away and the computer mouse clatters to the floor. It’s in at least three pieces that Danny can see, and he’s just about to say something about _that_, because he still needs that plastic rodent, when he’s cut off again, this time by Steve’s hand in his neck and Steve’s lips on his.

And okay, that’s the kind of thing even Danny will go quiet for, temporarily.

(“When I asked him to get Danny from his office, this was not what I meant,” Lou says, somewhere in the fuzzy background of things that are not Steve. “But I suppose that with those two I should have chosen my words more carefully than ‘go get him, Steve’.”)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Consider stopping by [andtheywerepartners](https://andtheywerepartners.tumblr.com/)’ blog to rain praise down on them and/or their posts, because this fic grew out of their plotbunny. Comments are, as always, extremely welcome! ❤
> 
> I'm on Tumblr as [itwoodbeprefect](https://itwoodbeprefect.tumblr.com), or with my exclusively H50 sideblog as [five-wow](https://five-wow.tumblr.com).


End file.
